In the last 6.5 weeks (45 days), I have only had 16 days without uterine bleeding. I'm so tired of bleeding. When will this end?
I can't wait to be "normal" again. I feel so sick and weak.
I go back to work on Thursday. Attending births and caring for babies. This is the true test! On one hand, I'm thrilled to go back to my job-- I always feel so useful. My job is incredibly rewarding. However... babies. ::sigh:: I know there will be many triggers there. Especially since I know my coworkers will want to know my story and how I am doing. God, please help me to be strong. I need my job. I have to get out of this house! I so have cabin fever right now. I don't want to be sad.
One thing I do have to rave about: Floradix. I'm loving the stuff right now. It's liquid iron and herbs; it's high in B vitamins. My body seriously craves it. My midwife joked that if you like the taste, it means you really need it. If you think it's gross, then you don't need it anymore! If you are anemic after a birth or miscarriage, you really have to get this. You can order it on amazon. I'm trying to get my strength up.
God, please help me to forgive the hospital and give up that bitterness. Help me forgive people from being insensitive. I want to be free of anger.
God, thank you for a supportive husband who is letting me grieve in my own time. I don't know how long it will take until I reach acceptance.